Art/Mistakes
Friday 26 August 2011
Wednesday 24 August 2011
Lazy Blogger Posts Funny E Bay Ad
Description
Motorcycles
Manufacturer: Kawasaki
Model: GPZ500 S
Type: Sports Touring
Engine Size: 498 cc
Mileage: 59000
Model Year: 1998
Colour: Black
Metallic Paint: Yes
MOT Expiration Date: Jun 2012
Drive Type: Chain
Kawasaki GPZ 500 S 1998 ( S reg)
On 17-Aug-11 at 14:46:05 BST, seller added the following information:
On 17-Aug-11 at 14:58:05 BST, seller added the following information:
On 18-Aug-11 at 00:57:17 BST, seller added the following information:
On 18-Aug-11 at 01:07:38 BST, seller added the following information:
On 18-Aug-11 at 10:54:22 BST, seller added the following information:
On 18-Aug-11 at 10:57:00 BST, seller added the following information:
On 18-Aug-11 at 11:19:56 BST, seller added the following information:
On 18-Aug-11 at 21:14:38 BST, seller added the following information:
On 19-Aug-11 at 00:51:54 BST, seller added the following information:
MOT till end Jun 2012
this bike is in average condition for the year, has not been molested with or thrashed from what i can see
starts first time everytime, oxford heated grips , Givi top box rack AND box included in sale
typical scratches and dinks you would expect from a bike of this age ( please see pictures )
the only bad points on this bike are the front brake pads are due for a change , if the auction reaches a sensible amount i
will gladly change them.
tax runs out at the end of the month but successful bidder can ride her away!
test rides welcome ( with proof of insurance and cash as security )
any questions please feel free to email or ring or text me Simon 07746148822
px or swap considered for anything interesting!
happy bidding!!
iv been as honest as i can with the bike , viewing is recommended , sold as seen
pick up only ( can deliver at a price to be agreed)
On 17-Aug-11 at 14:46:05 BST, seller added the following information:
BIKE SOLD PLEASE DO NOT BID!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On 17-Aug-11 at 14:58:05 BST, seller added the following information:
BIKE SOLD!!!!! BIKE SOLD!!!!! BIKE SOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BIKE SOLD!!!!!!!!! no more bike, bike is gone, do not bid as there is no bike to bid on!
dont waste your time! look for another bike!!
On 18-Aug-11 at 00:57:17 BST, seller added the following information:
SERIOUSLY PLEASE STOP BIDDING ON THIS BIKE IT IS SOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE BIKE IS NOW IN THE HANDS OF SOME OTHER DUDE!!!
DONT WASTE YOUR TIME AND MINE . . . . . . .WHOEVER KEEPS BIDDING ON IT JUST STOP!!! I CANT END THE AUCTION!!!!
SERIOUSLY IF YOU ARE THE "WINNING" BIDDER ALL YOU ARE WINNING IS THE EMAIL FROM ME AND THE PHONECALL ASKING YOU TO PAY MY DAMN EBAY FEES SO STOP IT!
On 18-Aug-11 at 01:07:38 BST, seller added the following information:
really now stop it!!
do you really want to be THAT douchebag that didnt read the description properly?
cuz thats what you are gonna be if you bid!
is that what you want?
ok then go for it, stick some bids on it then!! douchebag!
then when u call me to arrange pick up . . . . . . . .
On 18-Aug-11 at 10:54:22 BST, seller added the following information:
Congratulations to the following ebay members . . . . . . . .
VEGASINKMATT . . . .. you are a douche!! :P
CHOPPER.1925 . . . . . . .you a a fucking retard
LAVENDER8610 . . . . . . you are a retard with THE worst ebay name i have ever heard.
anyone else want to be added to my "oh my god how fucking retarded can you be" list??
On 18-Aug-11 at 10:57:00 BST, seller added the following information:
Congratulations to the following ebay members . . . . . . . .
VEGASINKMATT . . . .. you are a douche!! :P
CHOPPER.1925 . . . . . . .you a a fucking retard
LAVENDER8610 . . . . . . you are a retard with THE worst ebay name i have ever heard.
anyone else want to be added to my "oh my god how fucking retarded can you be" list??
On 18-Aug-11 at 11:19:56 BST, seller added the following information:
PART TWO . . . . . . .
ebay member . . . . .
PAULIMNOTFAT . . . . . . . .IS fat and is also retarded
On 18-Aug-11 at 21:14:38 BST, seller added the following information:
And the awards for "oh jesus i am so retarded it hurts!" goes to . . . . . . ..
ethelred02 . . . . for best supporting retard
sweatyfeet . . . . .for outstanding achievements in fuckfacery
but tonights star prize and our overall wienner goes to . . . . . .boneshakerchoppers!!!!!!!!
stay tuned folks for more special needs antics tomorrow!
On 19-Aug-11 at 00:51:54 BST, seller added the following information:
sometimes i lay awake at night and i worry about the world, how did we make it past the dark ages?
what is it that sets off that creative spark that spurs man to strive for greater things?
what if that special muse no longer exists? what if its no longer bright enough to compete with internet porn and krispy kreme donuts, are we doomed to forever coast till the end?
have we had our concord moment?
i think we should take a moment to reflect. . . . .
LEEM2418 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . sadly outwitted by a labrador
SHAUNEWHITHEAD2009 . . . . . . . . . . So struck by mental infirmary he is even unable to come up with an ebay name
MAXRAYMAN . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Still cursed by child incontinence even into adulthood
STORM1243 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Cursed with the social skills and quick whit of Kerry "fuck me im thick as fuck" Katona
GMF78 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33 yrs old and still has no concept of vowels
PEOPLE PLEASE DONT TAKE THE GIFT OF OPPOSABLE THUMBS AND ABSTRACT THOUGHT FOR GRANTED!
RETARDEDNESS MAY NOT BE AS INFECTIOUS AS THE COLD OR THE AIDS, BUT BY GOD IF THIS AVERAGE KEEPS UP THEN WE ARE ALL DOOMED TO BE RETARDED BY PROXY!!
Sunday 14 August 2011
Saturday 13 August 2011
Religion and Politics Part 1
Waving Bye Bye to God, 1933:
On April 20, 1939, Archbishop Orsenigo celebrated Hitler's birthday. The celebrations, initiated by Pacelli (Pope Pius XII) became a tradition. Each April 20, Cardinal Bertram of Berlin was to send "warmest congratulations to the Fuhrer in the name of the bishops and the dioceses in Germany" and added with "fervent prayers which the Catholics of Germany are sending to heaven on their altars."
Cardinal Secretary of State, Eugenio Pacelli (later to become Pope Pius XII) signs the Concordat between Nazi Germany and the Vatican at a formal ceremony in Rome on 20 July 1933. Nazi Vice-Chancellor Franz von Papen sits at the left, Pacelli in the middle, and Rudolf Buttmann sits at the right.
The Concordat effectively legitimized Hitler and the Nazi government to the eyes of Catholicism, Christianity, and the world.
It contained a "Secret Supplement" which shows, six years before the start of WWII, that General Mobilisation was only a matter of time and that the Catholic Church was "up for it".
Secret Supplement
In case of a change in the present German armed forces in the sense of the introduction of universal conscription, the induction of priests and other members of the regular clergy and the orders into military service will, with the understanding of the Holy See, be arranged within the framework of approximately the following guiding ideas:
a) Students of philosophy and theology at Church institutions who are preparing themselves for the priesthood are to be freed from military service and the preparatory drills for it, except in the case of a general mobilisation.
b) In the case of a general mobilization clerics who are employed in the diocese administration or the military chaplaincy are freed from reporting for duty. This applies to ordinaries, members of the ordinariate, provosts of seminaries and Church residences for seminarians, professors at the seminaries, parish priests, curates, rectors, coadjucators and the clerics who provide a church with worship services on a continuing basis.
c) The remaining clerics, insofar as they are considered suitable, are to join the armed forces of the state in order to devote themselves to pastoral care for the troops under the Church jurisdiction of the military bishops, if they are not inducted into the medical unit.
d) The remaining clergy in sacris or members of orders, who are not yet priests are to be assigned to the medical unit. The same shall apply when possible to the candidates for the priesthood mentioned in a) who have not yet taken their final vows.
On April 20, 1939, Archbishop Orsenigo celebrated Hitler's birthday. The celebrations, initiated by Pacelli (Pope Pius XII) became a tradition. Each April 20, Cardinal Bertram of Berlin was to send "warmest congratulations to the Fuhrer in the name of the bishops and the dioceses in Germany" and added with "fervent prayers which the Catholics of Germany are sending to heaven on their altars."
Cardinal Secretary of State, Eugenio Pacelli (later to become Pope Pius XII) signs the Concordat between Nazi Germany and the Vatican at a formal ceremony in Rome on 20 July 1933. Nazi Vice-Chancellor Franz von Papen sits at the left, Pacelli in the middle, and Rudolf Buttmann sits at the right.
The Concordat effectively legitimized Hitler and the Nazi government to the eyes of Catholicism, Christianity, and the world.
It contained a "Secret Supplement" which shows, six years before the start of WWII, that General Mobilisation was only a matter of time and that the Catholic Church was "up for it".
Secret Supplement
In case of a change in the present German armed forces in the sense of the introduction of universal conscription, the induction of priests and other members of the regular clergy and the orders into military service will, with the understanding of the Holy See, be arranged within the framework of approximately the following guiding ideas:
a) Students of philosophy and theology at Church institutions who are preparing themselves for the priesthood are to be freed from military service and the preparatory drills for it, except in the case of a general mobilisation.
b) In the case of a general mobilization clerics who are employed in the diocese administration or the military chaplaincy are freed from reporting for duty. This applies to ordinaries, members of the ordinariate, provosts of seminaries and Church residences for seminarians, professors at the seminaries, parish priests, curates, rectors, coadjucators and the clerics who provide a church with worship services on a continuing basis.
c) The remaining clerics, insofar as they are considered suitable, are to join the armed forces of the state in order to devote themselves to pastoral care for the troops under the Church jurisdiction of the military bishops, if they are not inducted into the medical unit.
d) The remaining clergy in sacris or members of orders, who are not yet priests are to be assigned to the medical unit. The same shall apply when possible to the candidates for the priesthood mentioned in a) who have not yet taken their final vows.
Tuesday 9 August 2011
I have to post this, very viral.
From Craigslist, America's sell anything/do anything surreal Gumtree.
To the Drunk Hottie who fell off my motorcycle
Date: 2007-11-07, 5:23AM PST
[Errors when replying to ads?]
I met you at the bar last night, and we hit it off. Ya we were both a little buzzed, but you seemed as into me as I was into you. Things got to things, we made out a bit, and you ended up going home with me on the back of my motorcycle, which was awesome because that doesn't usually happen to me. I luckily had the extra helmet with me and let you wear my bike jacket while suffering the cold on the way home. I was feeling pretty happy and lucky to say the least.
This is where things got crazy.
I don't know if you slipped, or thought I was taking you home to kill you, or if your're just plain crazy and had a change of heart, but all of a sudden you let go of me MID-TURN and went flying into the bushes at about 10-15mph near the park by my house. I was so freaked out!!! when I looked back to see you fumbling in the bushes I could only PRAY TO GOD that you didn't hit the asphalt or something worse.
I really thought you must have been hurt at least a bit, but as I turned around to come check on you, you took off into the unlit park running full speed with my helmet and jacket still on! I parked my bike and looked for you for over 2 hours calling your name until I was so cold I had to go home or risk freezing to death.
WTF
Im sorry for what happened and I really hope your're ok, really I do, but seriously WTF. Running into a forested park in the middle of the night like that....I really can't begin to guess what you were thinking, and you weren't that drunk, but i suppose my "crazy-bitch o' meter" wasn't working at the bar that night, and from the speed you took off I can only surmise that your're not that hurt. I would like my expensive bike gear back though, I hope it kept you warm during your psychotic episode, but it IS mine and I kinda need it to get around in the winter. If you could return it to the bar for me, check in with your shrink, and promise to never come near me again that would be great, cause you scared the #*$% outta me and are costing me alot of money.
Sincerely,
Very cold/poor motorcycle rider who will never let women near his bike again.
Location: Seattle
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 471479867
To the Drunk Hottie who fell off my motorcycle
Date: 2007-11-07, 5:23AM PST
[Errors when replying to ads?]
I met you at the bar last night, and we hit it off. Ya we were both a little buzzed, but you seemed as into me as I was into you. Things got to things, we made out a bit, and you ended up going home with me on the back of my motorcycle, which was awesome because that doesn't usually happen to me. I luckily had the extra helmet with me and let you wear my bike jacket while suffering the cold on the way home. I was feeling pretty happy and lucky to say the least.
This is where things got crazy.
I don't know if you slipped, or thought I was taking you home to kill you, or if your're just plain crazy and had a change of heart, but all of a sudden you let go of me MID-TURN and went flying into the bushes at about 10-15mph near the park by my house. I was so freaked out!!! when I looked back to see you fumbling in the bushes I could only PRAY TO GOD that you didn't hit the asphalt or something worse.
I really thought you must have been hurt at least a bit, but as I turned around to come check on you, you took off into the unlit park running full speed with my helmet and jacket still on! I parked my bike and looked for you for over 2 hours calling your name until I was so cold I had to go home or risk freezing to death.
WTF
Im sorry for what happened and I really hope your're ok, really I do, but seriously WTF. Running into a forested park in the middle of the night like that....I really can't begin to guess what you were thinking, and you weren't that drunk, but i suppose my "crazy-bitch o' meter" wasn't working at the bar that night, and from the speed you took off I can only surmise that your're not that hurt. I would like my expensive bike gear back though, I hope it kept you warm during your psychotic episode, but it IS mine and I kinda need it to get around in the winter. If you could return it to the bar for me, check in with your shrink, and promise to never come near me again that would be great, cause you scared the #*$% outta me and are costing me alot of money.
Sincerely,
Very cold/poor motorcycle rider who will never let women near his bike again.
Location: Seattle
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 471479867
Monday 8 August 2011
Sunday 7 August 2011
Fuck U, EU.
Coming to a motorcycle near you soon:
At the head of the list is the European 3rd Licence Directive, which will introduce an intermediate A2 tier of licence between the current 33hp ‘restricted’ category which can be gained by passing a test at age 17, and ‘direct access’ to full power bikes. Direct Access to full power bikes will be put back to 24 from the current 21.- New rules on braking systems on all new bikes, which will be imposed shortly. All new machines will have to have either linked brakes or ABS fitted as standard.
- New laws will also allow for ‘anti-tampering’ measures to prevent and/or make it illegal to improve performance. This seems to cover parts like alternative sprockets and aftermarket exhausts.
- Type approval is being extended to cover some replacement parts, specifically mirrors, brake pads and brake shoes and tyres. This would make it illegal to replace any of these parts with a non-approved part and goes far beyond the ‘e-mark’ legislation currently in place.
- Compulsory protective clothing in Belgium. Belgium imposed new rules on 1 January 2011 which required all riders and passengers on two wheelers to wear long sleeves, trousers, gloves and boots that cover the ankle (plus the obligatory helmet, of course!). There’s no requirement for this to be ‘protective clothing’ as far as I can see, so it would appear to be a very minimum standard. But it’s still compulsory
- Compulsory protective clothing in the UK whilst taking your bike test. In a very similar measure, the DSA recently announced that candidates turning up for their bike test in ‘inappropriate’ clothing could be turned away untested. Whilst the ‘appropriate clothing’ is no more than as recommended on CBT (ie, helmet, stout jacket and trousers, gloves and ankle-protecting footwear), it’s been rushed through with no apparent consultation with the motorcycle industry.
- Compulsory hi-vis clothing in France for motorcyclists from 1 September 2011. This one’s kicked up a terrific stink in France with riders, with an estimated 100,000 turning out in demos on Sunday 18 June, in numbers which paralysed cities and towns up and down the country. According to reports, more than 15,000 bikers clogged up the heart of the capital blocking the Periphique, Lyon (France’s second largest city) saw more than 10,000 bikers, 7,000 demonstrated in Lille, and Toulouse was totally blocked by 8,000 bikers. Smaller demonstrations took place in dozens of other cities.
- France to ban bikes over seven years old from cities centres. This was announced just before the hi-vis demo, so almost certainly added to the turn-out.
- New French laws will also ban filtering and force all riders to remain stationary in traffic jams and retro-fit bigger rear numberplates [Rather bizarrely, Belgium has just legalised filtering on 1 January 2011, so long as it's within limits - you can't ride faster than 50Km/h or more than 20Km/h faster than the traffic you're filtering past.]
- New French laws will give the police power to seize GPS units ‘capable of storing the locations of fixed speed cameras’. In the past, it was illegal to use a GPS to locate speed cameras and your GPS could be confiscated if used in this way, but it’s not clear whether this means any GPS capable of POI alerts contravenes the new regulations even if there are no such POIs in the memory.
- Compulsory hi-vis in Ireland. The law was introduced a couple of years ago, but after a softly-softly period, it’s apparently been announced that it’s now to be strictly enforced.
- Spain has banned headphones in helmets. It applies to car drivers too, but it means that using bike to bike/passenger intercoms is illegal south of the Pyrenees, as is using an earpiece to listen to GPS directions.
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